A christmas shag

I'm sorry, I shouldn't say that word....a lady of my age. But you see I went to see Allan in the panto and one of the crew (who shall remain nameless but loves elephants) had a few to many at the opening night party and asked me if I wanted a christmas shag. I first of all told him I didn't smoke then I thought he was talking about a carpet, then when he whispered something I cant repeat I realised he was talking about sex. I turned round and said " What a fxxxxxxg liberty. I smacked him right across the face. To tell you the truth I had a good look at him later on and I would rather of had the carpet. Anyway the panto is great as usual and I'm resigned to the fact that I am going tobe single for a while. I was talking to two girls after the show the other night and they said they were Lesbians. I was very interested because I've never been to Lesbia and I might get a chance to go with Allan on the ship sometime.
Ok cheerio
May.